News from London of a shocking quadruple homicide has left
the ad world stunned. On April 25, Chief
Inspector Kevin “I always wear black™” Roberts announced the deaths of
Strategy, the Big Idea, Management and Marketing, to a hushed audience at the
annual IoD convention. Roberts said
there were no witnesses as the crime likely took place in the middle of the
night. He added that while there are no
suspects in custody, they would like to have a conversation with VUCA, an mysterious
assailant who also goes by the name of the Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and
Ambiguous world. “To us, this is a world
that’s gone crazy.”
When asked whether he expected to see any results from his
investment of time into solving the case, Chief Inspector Roberts replied,
“Asking about Return on the Investment is the wrong question. You should be asking about Return on Involvement.”
A puzzled and speechless press corps had no further questions.
Kevin “I always wear black™” Roberts, who moonlights as the
Uber-head of Saatchi & Saatchi Worldwide, also said that following these
deaths, now is the time to move away from any form of accountability and
concentrate on small ideas, create Chief Excitement Officers, and tell smelly,
noisy and intimate brand stories to consumers.
In a moment of delicious irony, shortly after Chief
Inspector Roberts declared “I
don’t buy into all this recession talk. I do not think we are in a recessionary
environment,” came the official
announcement that the UK slid back into recession.
™ George Parker, adscam.typepad.com
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